13: The Temple of Woo

“The scientific concept behind Phytobiophysics is that the formulae harness the vibrational energy of plants to release energy blocks in the human body.”
– The Clinic

It’s a wonder Lucy Manning’s camera crew were able to record at all that day.
So many competing energies – bouncing off the walls of the ‘clinic’ as though trapped inside a game of Quantum Pong…

“Applying static magnets activates the body’s natural healing mechanisms by helping cells to regain their natural electromagnetic field.” – The Clinic

Were they just lucky finding that sweet spot where the chi cancelled out the om?
Or did Manning’s old-school rabbit’s foot do the trick? If not, other solutions could be sought:

“Tarot Counselling is an invitation to let our inner voice speak to us in the form of powerful archetypal images and symbols that carry a transformational force.”
– The Clinic

That such irrational idiocy not only exists but flourishes – and very profitably so! –  is perhaps indicative of a rot and of the mindset that has set in, infested, taken over… a ‘waving goodbye’ to common-sense, to logic and to reason.

Indeed, why wouldn’t you believe that Jimmy Savile had simultaneously abused two 14 year olds in a hotel carpark when you are prostrate before an altar of irrigated ani & Hopi ear candles?

“Qi energy is concentrated in channels that flow through our entire body, connecting to all our organs and tissues.” – The Clinic

The great irony is that Coles’ credibility as a Savile-accuser would hardly suffer were she to have been, say, a craniosacral therapist or practitioner of the delightfully-named Rolfing and Skilful Touch.

But that is not the case.

Coles, a relative beacon of sanity in a sea of stupidity, would work – nay, practise – there for several years before the fateful day. And she would learn – nay, absorb – much that would be useful for her performance when it came.

We shall return to dissect in excruciating detail that work.
But for now we are Leeds-bound – and is that our homeopathic newshound’s nose we see a-twitching?

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